Things Change

I live in a neighborhood where people most often keep to themselves. There will be a friendly hello offered when you go by. People will occasionally stop for a short chat if you happen to be passing each other on the sidewalk. Two weeks ago, as I was walking up the street my neighbor A stepped out from behind her car and asked how I was doing. After the usual yada yada yadas, A suddenly said “Did I tell you I lost my job?”

A and I are roughly the same age. An age where, professionally, you’d like to think you’ve been around long enough and have gathered enough know-how that you are somehow irreplaceable. But sometimes, be it through budget cuts or other reasons, you find out you were wrong. As she told me about how she didn’t survive a round of layoffs in the place she had worked for 22 years, A shook her head and said “I never thought I’d find myself here at this age. I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

The conversation with A came just as I was debating being overdue for a career change. Work in the past few months has become challenging, due to some changes that have taken place that I don’t much agree with. I’ve been feeling a combination of both restless and undervalued. And the truth is I was feeling rather sorry for myself in a “What do I do?” quandary when A suddenly stepped out from behind her car for a chat. It was a quick reminder how lucky I am that any change I may/may not make is still my decision. The continuing problems with the economy have not left the many A’s of the world quite so fortunate.

Changing course at the midpoint of your life, whether it’s your own choice or someone else’s, is scary. Leaving behind a job that’s familiar and that’s left you with a bit of security when you are fiftyish leaves you more anxious than it might someone who’s 10 or 20 years younger. You question your marketability. You worry about financial obligations: mortgage, children, retirement. You ask yourself if you can afford to take less money to be in a position that leaves you feeling more fulfilled. Or for someone in A’s position, will there be no choice but to accept something that you are overqualified to do.

Most of us choose a career path in our early 20’s and hope for the best. We don’t mind working hard as long as we’re paid fairly and treated well for our efforts. We hope to enjoy ourselves a bit, expect our good work to be recognized and look forward to those rewards and perks we’re sure will be forthcoming. And as we age, we add in the expectations of having our opinions matter and our experience valued. But it doesn’t always work that way. Things change. Sometimes we bring about that change for ourselves and other times we don’t.

As for me, well, I haven’t quite figured out what my next steps are. In many ways, it feels like I’ve overstayed my welcome in my current position, somewhat like a party guest who arrived early, had a great time and is still trying to have fun long after all the other guests have gone home. I am overdue for a change, I’m just not sure yet what it is. And as for A, I saw her again yesterday and asked how she was doing. She smiled a bit and simply said “I’m doing the best I can.”